Mornings annoy me. They always have, but recently I’ve been indulging a new theory. What if it isn’t that mornings are inherently annoying, but that alarms, the very sounds that mark their beginning, set that tone? By necessity alarms are noisy and often cacophonous, setting us into a fog of irritation the moment we wake.
Whatever sound you choose for an alarm, you’re dooming it to a lifetime of being associated solely with the excruciation of being pulled from a gentle slumber. For this reason, as far as I’m concerned, using a lyrical song you have any chance of hearing anytime that doesn’t precede breakfast is masochistic. Thankfully our phones provide plenty of options that are prepared to take the fall. Let’s take a look at ‘em!
“By The Seaside”
If this were merely a royalty free jingle, I’d describe it as charming. It’s a joyful sounding boardwalk toon but this charm is soured by its association with that 8am feeling of being ripped from the womb.
“Waves”
The energy of this one is very “overeager RA.” It’s inexhaustible and doesn’t give you much to hold onto.
“Playtime”
Much like “By The Seaside,” the cheer of “Playtime” attempts to distract you from the horror of waking up. I close my eyes and I picture the set of Pee Wee Herman. In this case, that’s not a good thing.
“Motorcycle”
When you peek in the classic folder, you are rewarded with a brief respite from the other chaotic alarm noise options. Most of these are real world sounds, not compositions, like the sound of revving a motorcycle, a duck quacking, or a pinball machine.
Where the others send me into full body shudders, these are much more palatable. I don’t associate these sounds solely with the dread of the morning, so I can manage to listen to them without affecting my blood pressure.