It’s a hard day for love. Ana de Armas and Ben Affleck have officially broken up. I believe 99% of celebrity relationships to be publicity stunts, but what they had seemed real, you know? They had walks. They had Dunkin. They had managed to make paparazzi photos interesting again.
Elsewhere in the world, we can celebrate the ascent of the celebrity sponsored menu item. A section of the fast casual dining industry that was once desolate, a lone Lady Gaga x Starbucks Rainbow Drink left to its own devices, is now flourishing. We’ve got Shawn Mendes Foundation Chipotle Bowls, the Travis Scott meal at McDonalds, and yes, the Charli D’Amelio Dunkin collab. Limited-time-only hype has managed to create a spectacle of scarcity out of food and drink known specifically for its reliability.
What’s that sound you ask? Nature Is Healing.
But even the knowledge that your burrito bowl is contributing to Shawn Mendes’s sustainability isn’t enough to pull us through the pain of a celebrity breakup we have nothing to do with. That’s why I’d like to propose the Ana de Armas La Colombe Latte.
There couldn’t be a better time for de Armas to hop on the brand partnership bandwagon, and for La Colombe too — as far as I can tell third wave coffee hasn’t deigned to engage just yet.
Is there any more effective way to sting your Dunkin-obsessed ex-lover than by collaborating with a far more classy East Coast coffee brand? And for supporters, is there any smoother-tasting way to declare our allegiance to de Armas?